Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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