I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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