New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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