Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
