that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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