so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My vagina is officially offended.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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