I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
they need to just BURY HIM!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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