All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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