I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
