Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
