If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
