Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
