Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize