He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
