I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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