Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
