Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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