The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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