that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
