I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
