oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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