You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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