I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
