I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
