HIV tests are more positive than that guy
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
