wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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