JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
