thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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