his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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