Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
