Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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