i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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