well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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