Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
