Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
