U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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