how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you would pick up someone in the library
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Randomize
