and you said cock pushups were impossible
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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