I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
