flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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