so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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