That's intense
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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