their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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