At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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