So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize
