your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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