Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
