If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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