His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize