she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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