If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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