just come out here and I will go home with you...
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
it hurts more in the daytime
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
