All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Randomize
