You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize