She's JV to your varsity
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
