he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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