There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
