Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
you had me at cake vodka
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
