he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
my poor anus
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
