i can't believe i had my finger in that
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize