Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just pee around me
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
