It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize