craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
