I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
