Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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